Some people get private tours of the Vatican. The rest of us wonder: does that make them more valuable than we are? “The worth of our self … what is that, and how can it be determined?”

The greatest miracle in the world is being held in love.

Imagine a world without caring, empathy, or connection; it would be a place of unraveling, spiraling into self-involvement, conflict, and despair. At times, it may feel as though we are inching toward that world. We see periods of regression, fear, and hatred. 

A miraculous thing happened to me today at my floor class at the City Recreation center. Taught by a gifted African American woman, this Zumba class primarily uses a mixture of jazz and blues called Southern Soul. Most of the people in the class are African American. We, the participants, have bonded.

How do we find the miraculous? Most days feel fairly typical, don’t they? And even on unusual days, our attention is captured by whatever demands the most of us. Most inner radars rarely pick up the miraculous, but our radar’s alertness to the miraculous can be sensitized. 

In 1986, I asked Sister Maria Beesing, one of my Enneagram teachers, whether there was any other written material on this fascinating subject besides the book she co-authored with Patrick O’Leary, The Enneagram: A Journey of Self-Discovery. I wanted more… much more. At the time, the only book on the Enneagram was theirs. 

Sometimes, we open the treasury of our soul, and a memory comes to us again, but from a different perspective. This reflection is one of those. Though this story is the subject of another Daily Reflection some time ago, it came back to me recently but with a different focus.

I often find myself reflecting on the miraculous. The subject draws me in because miracles are both an expression of heaven and a hint, perhaps even a proof, of its reality.

From childhood, George Gurdjieff sought truth not only in the world around him but in the unseen realms of the spirit. After making a pilgrimage to foreign lands, he discovered the Enneagram in a monastery in the Middle East. Studying there for years, he then carried his new-found wisdom to the West and spent the rest of his life teaching this ancient pathway to self-knowledge.

Regardless of our Ego and Soul type, every one of us longs for affirmation. Without it, we cannot see our strengths, our contributions, or the impact we have on others. Yet some people appear not to need validation at all. They move through life in a closed system, seemingly untouched by others’ opinions or affections. However, in truth, most of us, from our first breath, need affirmation as profoundly as we need air.

A few weeks ago, we were driving on the interstate when suddenly a plume of black smoke rose high into the air just ahead. Had a bomb exploded? Had a gasoline truck burst into flames? Within moments, the busy highway became a parking lot.

We long to accomplish something, but our ego tells us a story of why we cannot.

We dream of making something beautiful come true, but our ego insists we lack the capacity.

We yearn to speak our truth, yet our ego warns that the repercussions would be unbearable.

We desire to live vulnerably and authentically, but the ego insists we be impenetrable.

We want freedom from our dependencies, yet the ego whispers that we cannot live without them.

We hunger for more meaning in life, but our ego says to be content with what is.

Oppression, dehumanization, genocide, and persecution have brought humanity to its lowest forms. Imagine being so stripped of hope that you would dig a hole in the earth and wait there to die. Such despair was absolute for many in history’s darkest hours.

Evagrius of Pontus, one of the Desert Fathers and Mothers, wrote the first known commentary on the eight major types of sins he referred to as “evil thoughts” (logismoia) in the 300s AD. But there was a ninth sin he wrote about, which is the parent of all the others— and it is love of self (philautia.) These nine thoughts were eventually reduced in number by Pope Gregory to be known as “the Seven Deadly Sins.”

Although the soul is never truly untethered from the Divine, it can feel disconnected from God, lost in darkness, wounded, and without the fire of love.

If we are not well physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, the quality of our lives diminishes. Illness, injury, and hardship may come to everyone, but when they arise from self-neglect, we must bear the major responsibility. Caring for our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls is not self-indulgence or drudgery. It is sacred stewardship.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that it's been a month or so since you last meditated. Maybe that spiritual book someone lent you stays unopened on your bedside table. Days seem to slip by without the practices that you hold sacred. Even though we can forget our spiritual practice from time to time, if we are devoted to spiritual growth, our hearts return us to both the study and the living application of this sacred work, time and time again.

Many years ago, at the institution where I worked, a lady caused trouble in the office. She divided people into factions and brewed conflict. Her final blow was to lead a rebellion against the administration with those who followed her. As part of the administration, I met with her to fix the situation. After being confronted, she promised me that she would be a team member going forward. My blind spot was that I chose not to see the truth: she would always feed on conflict. And I denied the truth about myself, that I wanted to be seen as benevolent. She continued her same behavior and then eventually had to be let go after causing significant damage. 

What if the truest version of you isn’t the one you’ve been refining for decades, but the one you left behind in childhood? One of the most vital aims of the spiritually conscious life is the aim to realize essence.