The man fixing my air conditioner looked up from his toolbox and said something I didn’t expect: “I love what I do. Even when I was a boy, I liked to help. It began with my finding beehives in trees, collecting the honey, and giving it to family and neighbors. Then, when I grew up, my interest turned to machines. I could have been a doctor or a nurse, but I chose to help people by fixing their air conditioning and heating. If they need cool air, I want to bring it, and if they need warmth, I want them to make sure they have it.” 

When a very busy professor took time with me, it taught me a new way to view self-esteem. It became clear that receiving sincere regard doesn’t just build our own self-worth but teaches us how to build it in others. When someone values us and really listens, we absorb that attention. And we learn what it requires, what it costs in terms of intention, time, and presence. And we can ask ourselves, “Will I extend myself for the betterment of others?” 

You can see it in their eyes every time. It is that flicker of surprise when you actually stop and listen. It happens with the grocery store cashier who expects you to stare at your phone. It happens with the cleaning people who are used to being invisible. It happens with the neighbor who assumes you’re too busy to care. They’re so used to being overlooked that they are caught off guard by genuine attention. After the initial shock, however, they respond in kind. And in that moment of connection, something profound happens: their self-esteem increases simply because you noticed they were there and that they mean something to you. 

She believed she deserved the abuse, until a room full of strangers taught her otherwise.

We wait breathlessly for the expert to tell us what our heirloom is worth, yet we’ve never asked the ultimate authority what we are worth.

Before speaking our first words, the world was already teaching us when to silence ourselves. 

Some people get private tours of the Vatican. The rest of us wonder: does that make them more valuable than we are? “The worth of our self … what is that, and how can it be determined?”