The Beloved is a pilgrim on the sacred road toward union with the Divine. With every step comes a deeper realization, a fresh revelation, and a gradual refining of the heart’s ability to love. Yet the journey is not without hardship. We stumble and fall. Storms drench us. Wounds reopen. There are seasons when life feels lonely, confusing, or painfully unfair.

Once we begin to recognize the Inner Critic for what it is, we no longer have to fear it. We can slowly disengage from its accusations, and endless fault-finding. As its voice quiets, something else begins to emerge within us — our Beloved selves. But what does it mean to live as the Beloved?

The inner critic does not merely point out our mistakes; it can become the constant soundtrack of our lives. It can whisper in the background of almost everything we do, finding fault with even our best efforts.

The inner critic is the opposite of the beloved. And we can be aware of both of these in ourselves. One of them is our real identity, while the other is a self-regulating mechanism that can harm us. 

The word “beloved” sounds like a romantic term in a novel. Indeed, the word is used in many contexts to refer to lovers and romantic relationships. 

What is the origin of our inner critic? And why would we carry its self-debasement and hurt with us everywhere? Why have we kept this unpleasant self-talk when it makes us feel so bad, so unworthy? The inner critic has been in us since our early childhood, when we developed it for our survival. It is part of what we call our ego, and we cannot do without it. The basis of the inner critic is the cautionary and punitive communication of our parents. Though their verbal warnings and even shaming were to keep us safe and accepted, we internalized their voices, only to echo them to ourselves. The inner critic is meant to keep us in line but can become a monster that completely distracts us from who we really are: the Beloved. 

The inner critic comes to us every day. It points out our shortcomings, deficiencies, and blunders. And regardless of what the Inner critic says, or the particular deficit it brings to our attention, there is an implied message: you are flawed and unacceptable. 

Before speaking our first words, the world was already teaching us when to silence ourselves. 

May 27, 2025

Sometimes, we hit a mental, emotional, or physical wall. But if we tap into the creative energy available, we push through the walls to unexplored territory. By enlarging our scope and perspective, our heart, body, and mind capacities increase, and we are no longer slammed. 

April 7, 2025

If we have relationships that drain us of our energy, it’s time for self-compassion and self-care. The people who drain us are usually unaware of what they are doing. They may drain other people too, but our feeding into their dependency needs, demands, and life narrative will sap us of our precious energies. If we have the courage, we might discuss these issues with the friend. But this is not always doable or the best approach. So, to preserve and redirect the relationship, it’s best to set boundaries kindly, and stick with them, or in a mature manner, discontinue the relationship.