Our Private Selves Part 2
February 9, 2026
Our Private Selves Part 2
We all carry a second set of thoughts and feelings that we’ve spent decades learning to hide. And for good reason…
When we were tiny, we did not yet know that our thoughts and feelings could be wrong or inappropriate, or that they could evoke negative responses from those we loved. We were innocent, undifferentiated children who operated from the unconditioned soul, not yet constrained by a developed ego and personality.
But it only takes a few instances of being chided, ignored, banished, criticized, or even punished for our honest expressions to learn the necessity of an inner vault. We began locking away many of our thoughts and feelings, one by one, building a fortress of privacy within ourselves.
We might have even wished we could dispense with these private thoughts and feelings altogether, to stop having them. But that is not humanly possible. We make assessments and form impressions all day long. This is how we are hardwired as part of our survival system. The question is not whether we will have private thoughts and emotions, but what we will do with them.
Which brings us to the question many of us now face: if we are returning to soul, shouldn’t we also return to the sincere self we were as soul children? Does that mean we should relax our internal filters, abandon our editing and secrecy policies, and become transparently honest about everything we think and feel? Or is there a more profound wisdom in discernment that honors both authenticity and compassion, raw emotion and primitive urges, truth, and tender silence? One thing is for sure, our private thoughts and feelings, whether locked in our secret vault or quietly contemplated in our private studio, belong first to us and no one else.
In consciousness, these internal landscapes need only be shared if our soul affirms it. This requires discernment and contemplation about which ones need to be expressed, and to whom. Then we quietly integrate these previously sequestered feelings into our wholeness rather than simply broadcasting them. Integration is the process of amalgamating our sequestered feelings with the innocent soul child’s transparency and the healthy ego’s need to serve the soul.
Before any disclosure of our private selves, two simple questions serve as self-inquiries: Do these thoughts and feelings serve my healing and wholeness? Another question is: Do the expressions of my private thoughts serve other persons?
Spiritual practice: Journal about what it is like to discern your private emotions and thoughts as a prelude to their possible disclosure. Does the disclosure serve anyone’s soul? Your own soul?
Self-inquiry: What are the circumstances under which sharing private feelings could cause pain, confusion, or discomfort for another? Could this ever be in service to their soul?
Prayer:
Dear God, Make my private self an instrument of your healing, wholeness, and peace. Amen
