Our Private Selves Part 3
February 10, 2026
Our Private Selves Part 3
Some burdens were never meant to be shared. They were meant to be carried alone, in silence, until they become something else entirely. Then we realized we were not walking alone after all.
Sometimes we have to go through things entirely on our own. It could be a relationship fracture, an existential crisis, a circumstance for which ordinary problem-solving offers no relief. It could be a haunting memory or a regret that refuses to fade, or a plan to mull over that which requires spiritual reflection. Surely some people would gladly take time to help, who would listen with care and offer comfort. But sharing it does not feel right. Instead, something deeper tells us that this is a private matter for our hearts, minds, and bodies alone. We sense that we must be with it by ourselves as we distill it, find a place for it to settle, a place for it to rest, and a place of serenity about it.
Carrying something by ourselves can be the exact form of healing that the particular circumstance requires. When it is one of those things we need to keep to ourselves, it is not diffused by the telling. When held in conscious awareness, we do not deny it, nor do we delay it with the false promise of “I will deal with this later.” Instead, we carry the burden intentionally, as a companion of sorts, for as long as it takes to find peace. The burden itself becomes our contemplative companion, walking beside us in the quiet.
Silence is the container of spiritual contemplation. But this is not a self-contained process. It is a quiet walk with yet another companion, the most essential one—the Divine. The law of three operates here: there is me who has the circumstance, there is the circumstance itself, and there is God.
All three energies dynamically interplay during dedicated contemplation; there is my voice, the voice of the circumstance, and the voice of love. As they dialogue and interact, the truth of the situation becomes clearer. The voice of love heals the other two companions, not by erasing them, but by transforming them into something bearable, even sacred.
We do not have to be at a retreat or in a temple to engage in spiritual contemplation. We can contemplate anywhere, all day long, even in our sleep. Spiritual contemplation is done alongside any activity… even conversations with others. But the subject of our contemplation, the subject of our concern, is held in inner and outer silence. It is protected there, honored there, and is allowed to breathe and transform.
Spiritual contemplation eventually shifts us. As we move, our feelings about the concern are not as intense, nor is its weight as heavy. But the most profound result is felt in our soul, which becomes freer, fuller, and in time, even more joyful about the circumstance. The soul finds serenity in it. This type of contemplation is an inner pilgrimage, not a geographical one, but a journey from one destination to the other, all within our own body, mind, and heart, until we arrive somewhere we did not know existed: at peace with what we thought might burden us forever.
Self-inquiry: What is it that calls you to spiritual contemplation?
Spiritual practice: Make an intention that you will join the Divine on an inner pilgrimage to healing.
Prayer:
Dear God, For all the walks you have taken with me and my burdens, I give you thanks. Amen
