Inner Strength Part 3
May 7, 2026
Inner Strength Part 3
I was thirty-nine, a husband, father, and the new owner of a house with a mortgage. For the past eleven years, I had been a faculty member of a medical residency program at the University of Alabama in Birmingham, School of Medicine. I thought my job was secure, but one day I walked into a faculty meeting, and our director informed us that the resiliency program had lost its government grant. We relied on that grant for all the operations of the residency program, from paper clips to salaries. By the end of the meeting, all of us knew we were out of a job.
At first, I did not know what to do and gave into blame and anger. But in reality, I did not have the time or the luxury for complaining. I had to do something, and fast. As an Ego Type Six, I was motivated out of fear. I made plans but doubted that I had the strength to surmount this crisis and put them into action. Career-wise, I had been in an Ego Type Six “La La Land” for years. I had constructed what I thought was a secure life. I had a mentor (my boss, a protector) and a work family (the pack, the faculty).
All worked well for my ego and its needs. But when the ego has its way, it sucks the spiritual energy from us— it thinks it knows all and has the perfect strategy. But it does not fill our innermost needs. As embarrassing it is to say, when I heard the devastating news, I realized I was too weak to stand on my own two feet without a boss and a team. The ego is only a mental structure and therefore for me, my boss and team were mental strategies. So now because I could no longer count on them, what I really needed was a spiritual approach.
Fortunately, before the loss of my job, I was introduced to the Enneagram. I knew only a small amount from my week with the Jesuits who taught me, but it gave me a framework to see the traps I had unconsciously made for myself. My greatest growing edge was to forego my ego’s strategies and to listen to inner guidance. Simply shutting down all my ego chatter was a huge job. To counteract it, I sought stillness and serenity. Gratefully, with every step, I uncovered more courage and strength with which I had lost my connection long ago. They were under the crust with my soul child. But with “exercise,” they gradually returned.
Here is the thing: What we need is already in us. They are the spiritual qualities of our souls. As we meet life’s challenges, we can uncover our divine nature and its qualities, or we can suffer at the unrealistic hands of our unhealthy egos.
The beauty of the Enneagram is that we get to know the exact type of ego that veils us from our inner soul qualities. We come to anticipate what the ego will do, what it will say and how our particular ego will color a situation to meet its needs— to follow its story. The Enneagram helps us understand how we deceive ourselves. Once we have this powerful information, we can stop veiling our true selves.
When my faculty position ended, frenetic energy would have consumed me. Desperation would have driven me, and I would be spinning my wheels. Yet the gentle reminder my new Enneagram work gave me was to walk in peace—
Spiritual practice: Review your spiritual qualities. What soul qualities do I claim and express?
Self-inquiry: What strength do I most doubt that I have?
Prayer:
Dear God, Grant that I never lose sight of my inner strength. I know I have difficulties ahead, and I know my ego will try to terrorize me. Yet, dear God, I pray that each time I lose my sight, I am restored by your voice of love. Amen.
