You Live and Learn Part 8
December 9, 2025
You Live and Learn Part 8
I was about ten years old, walking up my street, when a younger neighbor named Tom came out from the wooded empty lots and said he’d found an enormous turtle. “Come see it,” he said, and of course, I followed.
Once we got to the place in the middle of the woods where the turtle was found, there was no turtle. Suddenly, two older neighborhood bullies jumped from behind the bushes. Outnumbered, I ran for my life — on a well-known path I had trodden many times in my young life, over every ditch, hill, nook and cranny, my feet went so fast that I couldn’t even feel them until I reached the safety of my own yard.
It was clear later that Tom had been part of the setup. I never knew whether he was bribed or if he was bullied into it, but either way, I learned something that day: not everyone who seems kind can be trusted. That realization stung deeply, especially after having already learned the year before that bullies can be merciless, even to animals.
One bad apple can spoil the whole barrel, and the same is true in neighborhoods. Tom was a good kid caught in bad company. The bullies’ cruelty had a ripple effect that cost Tom my friendship; he always lowered his head when he saw me after that. One violent child can bring fear to an entire community, especially when their parents quietly approve.
But bullying does not stop when we grow up. It just wears new clothes. There are adult bullies in neighborhoods today, and you find them in every organization, including houses of God and in politics. Then there is collective bullying— the clan did it. Jim Crow laws did it. The mafia does it. Drug leaders and gangs do it. Even institutions, workplaces, and governments do it. The pattern is the same — domination through intimidation and revenge.
When a bully’s power is challenged, they strike back, first to shame, then to punish. As conscious people, what do we do? There are several things we can do. We can stand together and not slink away in fear. We can rely on justice and due process and protect the “fresh apples” from the rotten ones. We can speak our truth and be willing to take the pushback. We can be whistleblowers. We can vote; we can become leaders and influence others to join us to create a climate of respect and dignity. We can expose the bully in conversation and refuse to be pushed around by them.
And yet, we must also remember that bullies are often frightened souls. Their aggression hides vulnerability, shame, and deep insecurity. Most likely, they were raised in harsh environments where only ruthlessness kept them safe. Holding a bully in prayer may not be what our ego wants to do, but if enough of us did it, our world might soften. Bullies cause casualties, yes, but they are living casualties themselves. To pray for them is, first and foremost, the way to deal with them.
We live and learn.
Spiritual practice: Pray for a bully. How did it go?
Self-inquiry: Why might you hesitate to isolate, vote against, or confront a bully?
Prayer:
Dear God, I pray for the bullies, and for Tom. Grant me the strength and faith to make this prayer. Amen.
