Forgiveness Part 5
November 7, 2025
Forgiveness Part 5
Those who have been sexually abused find great healing in therapies designed for these specific issues. Over the years, exercises and techniques have been developed that move the client along to confront their fears, shame, anger, and hatred. Eventually, the person refuses to allow the perpetrator one more minute of robbing them of their happiness and peace. This is a turning point in this therapy because they see a way forward with freedom from the attachment to anger, which paradoxically binds them to the perpetrator. Forgiveness is the highest form of detachment and resolution.
Some may forgive their abuser today, face to face. Some may choose to do it in a letter. Some abusers are no longer alive, but that is not a barrier to extending forgiveness to them. I have sat with many dear souls who are victims of abuse, at the graves of their abusers. Some dear souls have written their forgiveness in letters and placed the letter in the dirt of the abuser’s resting place. Profound healing occurs when the things that must be said are finally delivered.
In therapy, dear souls become ready to rid themselves of the feelings that seethe inside them. The last step is to forgive the abuser. It sounds unbelievable to forgive the unforgivable, but this is the step that is finally taken to be free. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that legal proceedings or consequences are off the table. No. It simply means that the monkey will no longer be on the back of the victim. It is a step to unload unwanted baggage. After they genuinely forgive, they no longer grind, ruminate, or flashback on the memory; they no longer hatch plans for revenge, and they no longer wish harm on their assailant in an effort to rid themselves of their unwanted attachment to them. Instead, they forgive the act or acts and pass the issue to the higher power.
Passing the person to God, for God to do with as God wills, does not mean the act is forgotten or accepted as OK. It is admitting that harboring an issue and the resentment of it is too heavy to carry alone and hurts us. In fact, try as it may, the ego alone cannot make the resentment bearable, even if it goes so far as to take revenge. But if the issue and perpetrator are transferred to God, a tremendous relief sets us free.
Spiritual practice: Do you have someone you have resisted forgiving? Reflect on why you may have harbored your feelings and not passed them to the Higher Power. Are these healthy reasons? Have these reasons brought you any healing? Journal about your relationship with forgiveness.
Self-inquiry: Why would anyone resist passing the person along to God for God to do with them what God wills?
Prayer:
Dear God, We are truly thankful for the gift of deep healing and the freedom it gives. Amen
