One of the most challenging forms of forgiveness is often self-forgiveness. When we cross a line and hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally, it is natural to hold it against ourselves. When it comes to forgiving, many of us are much harder on ourselves than we are on others.

Our inner peace is heaven-sent. Of course, we must make room for it, ask for it, and protect it, but it is there. It is a real treasure in this noisy, hasty, demanding, and stressful world. I like to think the Creator placed a peaceful place inside each of us so we would never forget heaven’s peace. It is like a bit of heaven within. Some describe it as the Holy of Holies inside themselves; others, as the calm core at the very center of their being.

When we dare to imagine creatively, we tap into heaven, which is the source of all creativity. Every creative idea is heaven-sent. Imagination takes us beyond ordinary thought, beyond the constraints and limitations that keep us locked into “what is.” Too often we tell ourselves, “That’s not possible,” and we shut down the path that might have led to something new. But in genuine imagination, we let go of all limitations and open ourselves to the unbelievable, the impossible, and the unimaginable.

Why would we need or want something that is heaven-sent? Don’t we already have enough on this side of heaven? Isn’t the world sufficient without anything else coming from above? Aren’t the goodness, mercy, compassion, and love in our hearts enough to see us through? 

For me, our back porch is heaven-sent. It looks out over the backyard, shaded by tall oaks and a huge magnolia tree. On the porch is comfortable seating, and most important of all, a hummingbird feeder that draws tiny visitors throughout the day.

Whenever I think of something heaven-sent, it is always something that came to me unexpectedly yet was just what I needed. Early in my private psychology practice, when I needed a partner to share office rent and expenses, the right person showed up at just the right time. And in those years when money was tight, out of the blue, opportunities to earn extra income seemed to present themselves exactly when I most needed them. These were heaven-sent.

When was the last time you experienced someone who was heaven-sent—someone who entered your life out of sheer grace? They weren’t earned, deserved, or arranged. They came as a pure gift, a blessing dropped directly from above.

Something heaven-sent comes from a source of goodness beyond us. Often, it is an unexpected gift we hope for but may think impossible to actually receive. Then, seemingly out of the blue, it arrives—like a delivery from UPS (Upper Paradise Support). It is just what we ordered, and often even more.

Sometimes our biggest obstacle is another human being. It seems like if only they would change, we could be happy.

There are fixed laws that run the universe. These laws govern the sun, moon, tides, weather, and the cells of our body. No human being has ever altered these laws. They are the gears of the cosmos that were set in motion at the beginning and will continue infinitely. There are also spiritual laws that underlie the universe. These laws are based on the Law of Love.

Obstacles stand in our way. But what is our way? We can go the way of the fakir and live into our body. We can go the way of the monk and nun who live out of deep emotion, or we can go the way of the yogi and live from our mind. But there is a fourth way — the way of the rogue who not only lives out of the body, mind, and emotions, but out of a fourth component: our soul applied to our daily life. These ideas were presented by spiritual teacher George Gurdjieff (1877-1949). Gurdjieff, whose teachings are called The Fourth Way knew that relatively few of us would choose the way of the rogue. And the few who do are able to transcend the limitations of the ego. Amazingly, Gurdjieff’s teachings are consistent with those of Jesus.

Obstacles face us every day. One of the most powerful is our inner critic. The inner critic tears us down, deflates, criticizes, undermines, and discourages us. Its three biggest plans of attack are to shame us, anger us, and to instill fear.

The word obstacle comes from the Latin root “ob” which means “in front of” and the Latin root “stare” which means “to stand.” So, the word obstacle means “to stand in front of” and thereby “to block,” “thwart,” or “hinder the progress of.”

A life without obstacles is a life without a chance to grow. Whatever our heart’s desire, if an obstacle stands in our way, we have to work harder to overcome it. Therein lies the value of obstacles ... the hard work of overcoming them builds wisdom in our soul.

When I was working toward a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, I wondered how I would master the courses in higher mathematics and statistics. I had trouble with Algebra in high school, so I did not know how I would ever pass the higher math courses facing me now. This was a huge obstacle in fulfilling my dream of becoming a psychologist.

Confucius wrote, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; There is a Zen proverb from ancient Chinese wisdom: “You cannot see your reflection in running water, only in still water.”

Once again, nature becomes a metaphor for life itself. When water is disturbed, it cannot reflect. In the same way, when the mind is unsettled, it cannot reflect. third, by experience, which is the bitterest.” (In Lunyu, Confucius, c. 206 B.C.)

Confucius wrote, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.” (In Lunyu, Confucius, c. 206 B.C.)

Sometimes, spiritual reflection opens the door to transformation and healing. The following spiritual practice offers a set of questions that can guide this process. It is based on Gestalt Psychology, Jungian Psychology, Core Transformation, Embodiment, the Enneagram’s Centers of Intelligence and soul qualities, Neurolinguistic Programming, and Rational Emotive Therapy.