The False Self Part 6
May 14, 2025
The False Self Part 6
An officer pulled over a car for speeding. He walked to the car window and asked the man for his driver’s license. The officer asked the man, “Do you realize that you were doing 60 in a 35-mile-an-hour zone and that there is a school right here? Why were you going so fast?” The man replied, “I am swamped and late for a vital meeting downtown.” The officer said, “Sir, you could have killed somebody or yourself while speeding to your meeting.” The man replied, “Do you know who I am?” The officer replied,” I see your name on your license.” And the man said, “No, I mean, do you know who I am in this town?”
The man said, “Do you know that I am the president of First National Bank and that I play golf every week with your boss, the mayor? I don’t think the mayor would like it if he knew one of his closest friends was given a ticket by you.” The officer said, “No sir, I do not know who you are in town. I only know you as a driver, and as one of those, you were breaking the law today. Here is your ticket; please drive safely.” The man said to the officer, “You will be hearing from your boss before the end of the day, I assure you.”
This story illustrates the importance many of us place on the false self. We have an image that we created. For most of us, our image is positive. We identify with that image and think that the image is our authentic self. When it is not recognized or when it is ignored, we feel discounted. We may even feel insulted or belittled if our status is not recognized. We have so closely identified with our false image that we believe that it is the real us.
When I began my clinical psychology practice, a charming new patient said one day to me on her first visit, “You are new to town, so I need to tell you something. I am from a prominent and well-known family here, and no one must know I am coming to see you. You are young and new here, so you must understand that even the prominent people in town have their problems, and their seeing you must remain private. “I couldn’t believe my ears. Not only did she think I could protect her from someone seeing her enter my office, but I already had the professional obligation to keep the names of my patients confidential. She also thought I was too young to know everyone has problems. What an education I was receiving that day!
But something else struck me about the lady: she was more concerned with preserving her image than with her reason for coming to see me. It was as if her cover was blown; she couldn’t receive help. The cover was more significant than the treatment.
Today, I was told by a wonderful lady who gives me a haircut every month that there were no openings for the next few days. She was slammed with clients just like me. My first reaction was disappointment, and then I thought about telling her that I needed a haircut because of a speaking engagement coming up. But I realized that if I asked her to work me into her already overcrowded list of patrons, it would be my false self asking. I would be telling her that I am more important than someone else, which is untrue. But that is what our false self does— it exaggerates our importance, or in some cases it falsely downplays our importance. My ego’s image of me as “breaking in line” would have overtaken me and crowded out my soul. And that’s happened to me plenty of times.
In consciousness and soul work, we come to understand that our true nature is something that we didn’t construct. We didn’t achieve it or even earn it. The qualities of our souls were basically with us when we came to earth, and as an aspect of the Divine, we have been expressing these qualities ever since. Of course we have developed these qualities, but our outer image is composed of surface things such as our status, our looks, our roles, education, skills, and our achievements. It’s everything that we present to those around us. But the soul is the ground of our being— it is our profound nature. So, when we are hurt because someone misuses or hurts our outer image, we are not devastated. Instead, we understand that our real identities are not for public consumption. Our true self is not shaken by the insult or injury to our outer image.
Self-inquiry: How would you describe your ego’s image of yourself? Has it ever convinced you that its image of yourself is accurate?
Dear God,
I pray for the humility to see my soul and to live from it. Amen
