Our Private Thoughts Part 6
August 23, 2025
Our Private Thoughts Part 6
Many of our private thoughts revolve around regret; the would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve of our past. These moments, now frozen in time, often feel irretrievable. And yet, they still trouble us. Do your regrets ever rise to the surface and unsettle you?
Regret is more than sorrow over a past mistake. Over time, it can harden into a sense of moral failure, like we have committed an irreversible wrong. In our private thoughts, regret may strike with such force that we wince. A wave of remorse hits, and cruel self-judgments follow: “Selfish.” “Stupid.” “Heartless.” “Unforgiving.” Our inner critic spares no mercy. Though many of us try to bury our private thoughts of regret deep in the recesses of our mind, they often return with emotional force, sometimes strong enough to bring us to our knees.
Yet the ability to feel regret is not a weakness. It is a sign of conscience. Without it, we would be sociopathic, incapable of empathy, remorse, or the ability to be empathetic. Regret signals that we are aware, conscious, and that we care. It proves we have a heart.
Still, many of us punish ourselves over and over for the same regrets. We relive it, ruminate on it, and try to atone by self-inflicted guilt. This may feel like it works for a while, but the cycle always returns: regret, pain, punishment, repeat. This is the ego trying to fix what it cannot heal.
The ego can create mental strategies to imitate healing, repression, avoidance, distraction, hopeful thinking, fantasy, even addiction. But it cannot truly dissolve regret. Real healing comes not from the ego, but from the soul and from our willingness to surrender the regret to something higher.
To move beyond regret, we must express our sorrow and seek transformation. This begins by becoming conscious that there are consequences to our actions, both known and unknown. Then we must forgive ourselves. And finally, we ask the Divine to heal the mark that regret has left on our hearts, and to repair the damage done to others.
This surrender is often best expressed through a symbolic act, a physical ritual that marks our release and intention to move forward. Some write down their regrets and burn the paper, letting the smoke carry them away. Others throw a stone into a river, lake, or ocean, or off a mountaintop, symbolizing release. Some bury the ashes in the earth for them to disintegrate. Others craft a Native American prayer stick called a paho or perform the purification smudging ritual with sage. Still others pray quietly in a sacred space, offering their regrets to the Divine with an open heart.
Spiritual practice: Choose a symbolic act of surrender. Write your regret, voice it aloud, then ask for release. Perform the ritual and then journal your experience. Notice what shifts in your heart.
Self-inquiry: If you choose not to release your regrets, what might they continue to cost you—emotionally, spiritually, or physically?
Dear God, I surrender my regrets to You. Forgive me, cleanse me, and free me from the regrets I’ve carried too long. Amen.
