Control Part 2
September 30, 2025
Control Part 2
With desire comes the need for control. Control gives us the power to make things happen. If we desire something, we also desire the control and the power to obtain it.
We may want to resolve a health issue but have no control over it. We may long for someone’s love but cannot make it happen. Perhaps we hope for a promotion at work, but that decision is not in our hands. Maybe we wish for a family controversy to end but cannot control the family. We might even want to stop a political movement or bring an end to war, yet we feel helpless. We may struggle with a mental health issue or an addiction, and, despite our deepest desire, we lack the power to change it.
Still, there are ways to deal with desire even when we have no control over the situation or person. The first way is to pray for control. That may sound strange, but it works in two important ways. In praying for control, we may shift our mindset and open ourselves to new possibilities, or we may discover control or wherewithal we already have but do not recognize. Of course, prayer becomes far more powerful when our intention is not selfish or self-serving and meant for the good of all.
Another way is to seek someone else’s control and strength. Sometimes others can see solutions that we cannot see. Yet pride, or other reasons, often keep us silent, and we do not ask for help. However, if in humility we are willing to be vulnerable enough to share our struggles, others may offer new perspectives and possibilities. At times, we may even need to hand the situation completely over to someone whose wisdom and intentions we trust. We may need to get out of our own way so something new can emerge.
Some of us, however, keep trying to seize control even when the odds are stacked against us. We grab the bull by the horns, only to have it escape every time. Our prayers may seem to bounce off the walls, leaving us weary and discouraged. When this happens, the only way forward is to admit our powerlessness and hand the situation to the Divine. When this shift occurs, fasten your seatbelt, because new ways rush in to take the place of old ways.
Surrender is not a passive act. It is an act of co-creation with the Divine. Though we release the problem and resist tampering with it again, we stand ready to participate in the solution in whatever way God leads.
In his book, The Surrender Experiment, Michael Singer tells the story of what happened to him after he decided to surrender everything to God, and the universe. His surrender included letting go of all his personal and egoic preferences, regardless of how illogical and impractical the relinquishment seemed to be. He found a new course was just beneath the surface— a course that caused amazing growth in every way; this experiment caused a huge spiritual awakening but brought him to his knees before the awakening happened. Michael underscores the fact that surrender is a total commitment.
Spiritual practice: Is there a situation you face now where one of these practices could apply? If so, try it.
Self-inquiry: What keeps you from surrendering?
Prayer: Dear God,
I surrender to You a situation I have tried to solve on my own, without success. I don’t know why I have waited so long, except that I thought I could do it myself. Please help me surrender, O God. Amen.
