Control Part 1
September 29, 2025
Control Part 1
Welcome to this week’s Daily Reflections on Control.
This morning, there is a break in the hot temperatures. Cool air is creeping in and slowly replacing the summer heat. I do not want the summer to end. How dare time and seasons move on without my approval! The cool air reminds me that I am not the decider, I am just a guest on this planet, only for a brief ride. Time moves on and seasons change, even when I do not want them to.
I seem to control so much else: my body, mind, and emotions. I control my fingers, arms, legs, eyes, and movements. I also control my mind, shaping, entertaining, or repressing my thoughts. My emotions are my own. Most of the time, I choose my feelings, and I can try to change the unwanted ones. We control so much, and this gives us the illusion that we control almost everything … but not everything.
Yesterday, I went to a fast-food restaurant for a frozen cola. The attendant handed me my order and said, “You rule,” which is Burger King’s new motto. Their marketing research showed that people want to feel empowered and in control of their lives. So, when we hear “You rule,” and “Have it your way,” we really hear, “You are in control.” And our ego loves to hear that.
But as they say, we “come by it honestly.” From babyhood on, we seized control. We were taught to pull ourselves up, to walk, not cry, to run, laugh, think, plan, and do. We were told, “You can do it!” and “Control yourself.” Day by day, we became the rulers of our lives, and some even became rulers of others. And others ruled by abdicating their control to others.
We learned to control by knowing when to trust and when to mistrust. We learned to control our sphincters, tempers, whereabouts, and even shame. We learned to satisfy our desires and escape what we feared. We learned to get what we wanted and then to deal with the guilt when we took too much or what wasn’t ours. We lived by an ego that protected and defended us. We even learned how to manipulate the truth. We individuated ourselves from the rest of the world and took control of our destiny, or so we thought.
The truth is, we have limitations. We do not control time, the weather, or the course of history. We have no final say over our longevity or that of others. Ultimately, we have little to no control over others, most of all, their thoughts. And as we age, we increasingly lose control of our environment and bodies. Unlike what our ego may like us to believe, we are not eternal rulers, but temporary guests here.
My ego does not want the cooler weather. It wants summer to last longer. But my soul knows that the weather changes for a reason. The soul does not even pretend to rule reality, but in presence, it accepts, savors, and rolls with it. It is tethered to a kingdom I do not control, but trust.
Self-inquiry: What are some of the reasons you hold on to control?
Prayer: Dear God,
I ask for the grace to let go of control … even the illusion of it. Amen.
