Who Do You Think You Are? Part 3
September 11, 2025
Who Do You Think You Are? Part 3
I have noticed that most people feel they are good people. The research bears this out. Human beings think they are above average in being correct, honest, and reasonable (Alicke, 2005). However, research also shows that people feel less than others. Since the advent of social media, we can more readily measure how people stack up when they compare themselves to others. The results are that a large preponderance of people do not feel they compare well to others (Kayala, 2023).
So, we have two basic tracks. One is that we feel good about who we are, and the other is that we do not feel we compare well with others. This may seem contradictory, but it reflects an innate dynamic in the human psyche: On one level, we feel we are a good person, but in another dimension, we are insecure about ourselves. However, looking at the Enneagram and depth psychology, we can understand why these two seemingly opposing self-concepts exist simultaneously.
Our ego and personality are not our mechanisms for moving through the world, and they are also the image we present to others. So, regardless of how we feel about ourselves, we present an image that most effectively works with this wonderful, terrible, beautiful, stressful world. On the other hand, our pasts are full of failures, traumas, inadequacies, regrets, and deficiencies. Our inner critic continuously reminds us of them. We constantly compensate for these ever-present reminders. So, the ego carries two self-concepts. One is more outward and tends to be the image we present to the world. The other self-concept is the ego’s ideal, which we can never fully achieve and that failure makes us feel deficient.
However, when we study the Enneagram, we may access another self-concept, based more on reality than on image or the ideal. Sadly, many of us are not as familiar with this other way of viewing ourselves because of our infatuation with the ego. Nevertheless, the soul’s self-concept is a beautiful and realistic lens through which we may see ourselves, and others.
The self-concept illustrated and described on The Enneagram of Soul adheres to the idea that we are good. The soul has been connected to goodness and the source of goodness forever. The soul is on a mission to perfect itself and thereby come into greater harmony with the universe. This mission, in and of itself, is inherently GOOD. But the soul has even more reasons to believe in our goodness. It has inborn qualities that directly express the source of goodness, the Divine. These qualities are what find greater expression as the soul progresses.
Because the soul is on a mission to perfect itself and to find harmony between itself and all Being, it must address its imperfections. This is where the ego comes in. In meeting the demands, losses, and other experiences including the beautiful and the ugly of this existence, the ego acquires wisdom. The ego reaches a critical mass of suffering and because of its wisdom, slowly drops its fixation and becomes the servant of the soul.
The Enneagram shows us the truth about who we are: we are both the ego and the soul, and these work together to reach our spiritual destiny. We are not dualistic in that we are either bad or good. Instead, we are a non-dual alchemical mixture of what we need to complete our mission.
Spiritual practice: What would your soul say about your efforts to compare yourself with others? In stillness ask this question of your soul and listen to the answer given.
Self-inquiry: Why is the ego so criticized?
Prayer: Dear God, Please give me the ability to see myself through the light of love. Amen
