Dr. Howell’s Reflections
Everyday, Dr. Howell writes a reflection, inquiry prompt, and a prayer.
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Energy and Will - Part 7
April 7, 2025
If we have relationships that drain us of our energy, it’s time for self-compassion and self-care. The people who drain us are usually unaware of what they are doing. They may drain other people too, but our feeding into their dependency needs, demands, and life narrative will sap us of our precious energies. If we have the courage, we might discuss these issues with the friend. But this is not always doable or the best approach. So, to preserve and redirect the relationship, it’s best to set boundaries kindly, and stick with them, or in a mature manner, discontinue the relationship.
Energy and Will - Part 6
April 6, 2025
Sometimes, our energies flow into our relationships. These are the people who mean the most to us, but it can include those who may drain us, distract us, or disintegrate us. Maybe they are people who, for some reason, we feel obligated to, or perhaps we feel sorry for them. Maybe the person is intriguing, insightful, or charismatic, and they draw us into them, but we end up with no fulfillment. We may have affinities for those with whom we have much in common and therefore feel kinship, but they may not have the same feelings toward us.
Energy and Will - Part 5
April 5, 2025
How do we direct the flow of our energy? What are our priorities, and how do we decide which ones get our attention? These questions can be answered when we look at what we are doing today and what we are working toward long term. Today is a microcosm of our priorities, and the many days of our life unfold our life’s purpose.
Energy and Will - Part 4
April 4, 2025
Though we are willing to expend energy on the things that give us joy, we can exhaust ourselves in the quest for happiness. When our children were small, we made the necessary trip to Disney World in Orlando, Florida. I say “necessary” because taking the family to Disney World has become an American ritual. Though we had a lot of fun at Disney World, I believe we went primarily because we didn’t want our kids to feel left out of their culture’s living fantasy.
Energy and Will - Part 3
April 3, 2025
Many human emotions take energy, but one of the most severely draining is grief. Mourning and grief upset our emotional equilibrium while draining precious energy from our minds, hearts, and bodies. Grief can be compared to a significant physical injury. For example, we may lose the functioning of a limb or an organ. Or the insult may cause us to be unable to think clearly. But it is our responsibility to learn to operate without that function. Things can’t continue as before the injury because we can’t do what we usually do. So, we must compensate for the lost functioning so that we can move in the world.
Energy and Will - Part 2
April 2, 2025
It takes energy to love and more energy to love the unlovable. Some people are not easy for us to love. There are many reasons for this: they could remind us of someone who traumatized us, they may traumatize us, or the person is aggressive or uncaring. They may have hurt or used us. Whatever the reason, we do not easily love the person. We may not even want to love them.
Energy and Will - Part 1
April 1, 2025
It takes energy to do anything, and that includes getting up in the morning. But have you ever thought of what gives you the energy to WANT to get up in the morning? Honestly, on many mornings I would like to languish in bed instead of facing the day. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a demanding or stressful day, but in bed, the warm covers seem much more enticing than anything else, so I ask myself, “Why get up?”