Self-Understanding Part 5
September 26, 2025
Self-Understanding Part 5
We understand ourselves when we know that we have two different levels of moving in the world. We live from the level of our ego mind or from the level of our soul. At their most intense state, our egos protect our interests above those of others and essentially set ourselves apart from the common good. The unhealthy ego obstructs our having true empathy for others outside our clan. Our egos cope with a tricky and demanding world by presenting an outward face that fits the situation and by strategizing ways to protect ourselves from harm even if we have to strike preemptively.
Jeremy, aged 23, presented a face to the world of compassion and goodness. He loved animals and regularly volunteered at the pet shelter. He was a loving person and loyal friend. He fell out with a close friend from childhood, Marty, who told one of Jeremy’s most personal secrets to several people. Jeremy was embarrassed and ashamed. He could not imagine his friend divulging information told in the confidence of their long and close relationship. Jeremy stopped talking to Marty and stewed over the issue for months Tension mounted, and Jeremy decided to seek revenge. He asked all the mutual friends between him and Marty not to talk to Marty or he would drop them as a friend. Turmoil resulted; Jeremy was left with the short end of the stick.
Letting go of the friendship with Marty, was not enough for Jeremy’s ego, which settled for no less than an emotional bloodbath that affected all the friendships in that circle. Jeremy’s threat to stop being friends with those who still talked to Marty was an irrational and unfair ploy. The friends refused his ultimatum, and Jeremy was left out in the cold.
But in years to follow, Jeremy grew in spiritual wisdom and saw things in their totality, not in isolated situations. He now understood that Marty’s betrayal would have eventually led to natural consequences for Marty. Jeremy saw how his own reaction was destructive — he had assumed to be god of the situation by ordering others to choose him over Marty. It backfired.
Spiritual Practice: How would you view Jeremy, Marty, and their mutual friends through the lens of compassion?
Self-inquiry: Have I ever surrendered to a higher will?
Prayer: Dear God, My ego still thinks it knows best about everything. But in prayer, I recognize its irrational claims and desires. My soul knows that your will is the will that brings harmony and hope, peace and well-being. I ask for the shift to soul, my God. Amen.
