Self-Understanding Part 2
September 23, 2025
Self-Understanding Part 2
When remorse and guilt threaten to get the best of us, we can move through that rough spot more healthily if we are compassionate toward ourselves. Knowing our soul enables us to forgive ourselves, have mercy on ourselves, and care for our wounds.
Self-loathing and self-hatred are the ego’s favorite ways of restoring emotional equilibrium when guilt throws us off kilter. It is the ego’s method to settle the score for a regret or a trait in ourselves we despise. Without accepting unconditional love from the Creator and for ourselves, we can not access the healing power of self-compassion. Then, we slip into the ego’s misguided effort to “redeem” ourselves through guilting or punishing us in other ways.
Anwar held something against himself. As a teen, he was babysitting his brothers and sisters but left the house to meet some friends down the street. While gone, there was a house fire at home and his little brother was severely burned. Anwar was guilty beyond repair and merciless in punishing himself. In adulthood, he lives near his disabled brother and works two jobs to help support him. Anwar put his life on hold, denied all his goals, and said to himself that he was a worthless man. He takes revenge on himself but does not know how to get out of his cycle of self-made guilt and punishment.
Fortunately, one day Anwar was sitting in a class at the business in which he worked part-time as a custodian. The class was about how to get along with other employees and management. The teachers presented a system of self-understanding called “The Enneagram.” In learning the simple system, he became aware of why he hated and belittled himself and why he was trapped in the cycle of guilt and self-punishment.
The Enneagram revealed to him the nature of the Inner Critic and pointed out the way of his self-destructive cycle. He was amazed at the wisdom of the Enneagram that helped free him from the traps of life. Instead of going against his personal faith, the ancient system gave him a clearer understanding of it. The Enneagram provided maps to chart a course out of his cycle of guilt and punishment. For him to learn of his soul child, that incorruptible essence of ourselves, was life-changing for him. Anwar now has healthy self-regard and a bright future.
Spiritual practice: What regret do you still hold against yourself? Can you inspect the attributes of your soul point to learn your innate soul qualities that can free you from this guilt?
Self-inquiry: List the reasons why you are worth self-understanding and self-compassion.
Prayer: Dear God, Grant that I understand myself and not condemn myself. Let me give mercy to myself when I am apt to withhold it from myself. Let me experience the virtues you placed in me at my making. Amen.
