The False Self Part 2
May 10, 2025
The False Self Part 2
One of the first things we do as children is pretend to be someone we aren’t. With magical thinking, we assume any identity we wish: people, animals, trees, cartoon characters, and more. One Halloween, I was a pirate. And I recall feeling a little more powerful and courageous as we walked up and down the streets, trick-or-treating. Then there were the characters I played in school plays. From an early age we have the freedom to pretend to be someone who we are not.
The beauty of the unconditioned soul of early childhood, is that we are not attached to an egoic identity that prevents us from becoming anything we wish. As primarily a soul, we are part of everything. So, even when the soul child chooses to become another part of the universe, it is still its natural self. It’s like trying on clothes. Each outfit is another aspect of ourselves.
But as we know, sooner or later, the soul child must give way to the ego identity. Yes, our pure essence cannot survive this world's demands, cruelties, expectations, and trickery. So, it covers itself with an ego to protect it. As we leave early childhood, we identify more with the ego than our soul child, our essence. The ego may protect us in its own way, but it wants the good feelings of being in our essence. But despite all its attempts, it can only imitate the purity and bliss of our essence. Our egos cannot recreate our pure innocence. But to protect itself, it adapts its ability to assume other identities.
The origin of the false self in the Abrahamic religions is portrayed in Genesis 3:9-12, when God asks Adam, “What have you done?” Instead of taking responsibility, Adam blames Eve and God. He says, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree, and I ate it.” Again, in Genesis 4:9, when God asks Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” Cain replies, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?” Adam’s and Cain’s answers to God are both forms of the false self.
When can’t the egoic self be authentic? Why does it assume another image other than that of itself? The answer is: every time it cannot deal with reality. Anytime it is scared of the reality of being its authentic self, it thinks it can hide by being a chameleon. Anytime we are shamed or punished by being who we are, it’s easy for the false self to take center stage. How does it appear? In ‘white lies,’ failures to speak our truth, being whoever others want us to be, and, yes, in the many ways of masquerading as someone other than who we are. Oscar Ichazo understood that each of the ego types has a primary “lie” they tell themselves and the world. Until consciousness is reached, this lie operates as a defense mechanism. These are referred to as The Enneagram of Lies.
But there are times when our very survival depends on our false self. Sometimes, bearing our truth may put ourselves or someone else in great jeopardy. Sometimes our shame would be too much for us to endure.
Accepting our false self is an act of spiritual growth because it is part of becoming conscious. When we are conscious of the times our false self takes over, self-awareness (consciousness) helps us decide if we need to continue the masquerade or if we want to present the truth.
Spiritual practice: Can you distinguish between the different types of the false self in you?
Self-inquiry: When can the false self serve your soul?
Dear God,
I am so heartened that in front of you, I do not ever need my false self. I am so grateful. Amen
