The heart doesn’t ask permission before it fills with rage, grief, or joy. But we can choose what happens next. The heart holds our joy and our grief, our merriment, and our anger. Such strong emotions are real and valid. Frequently we cannot choose our emotional state because of the circumstances around us. For example, in wonderful events such as the birth of a child or grandchild, our joy is uncontainable. Likewise, when someone steals from us, we are naturally incensed and angry. Joy and merriment are welcomed emotions, but anger and grief are not usually so welcome.

April 3, 2025

Many human emotions take energy, but one of the most severely draining is grief. Mourning and grief upset our emotional equilibrium while draining precious energy from our minds, hearts, and bodies. Grief can be compared to a significant physical injury. For example, we may lose the functioning of a limb or an organ. Or the insult may cause us to be unable to think clearly. But it is our responsibility to learn to operate without that function. Things can’t continue as before the injury because we can’t do what we usually do. So, we must compensate for the lost functioning so that we can move in the world.