Finding your Ego Type isn’t always as straight-forward as reading an Enneagram book or taking a test. I know because I did both of those things.
Many of the Ego Type descriptions I found in books didn’t resonate with me at first. Some qualities I recognized, but not enough to identify myself definitively. Things got even more confusing when I considered the arrows, wings, and levels of consciousness. The tests I took were similarly inconclusive – and I consistently scored high in multiple types.
The way I really found my Ego type was through the Enneagram community.
At Enneagram conferences, I heard people talking about their Ego Types, sharing their experiences and practices with it. I listened to their stories. In time, I began to piece together an understanding of the types. I spent time talking to people who identified with types that I suspected might be my own, considering what about their experiences resonated with me or not.
Then at one conference, I sat across the table from another Ego Type 8 and listened to her tell my story. That is how I truly knew my type. To have someone else share with me that they have done the same things I’ve done, exactly how I did them, and for the same reasons I is to be understood. It felt like coming home after a long journey.
For anyone stuck at the point of finding your type, if books and tests haven’t gotten you there, talk to others studying the Enneagram as much as you can. When you “find your people” it will all have been well worth the effort.